It is official

The Mr woke me up early this morning to ask me if I feel like we are growing appart.

D: "Yes"

Mr: "Why?"

D: " You come home angry all the time and after you vent and I listen and then try to be a friend you go to sleep"

Mr: "Well, why haven't you said anything"

D: "I have and you get defensive and/or ignore me"

Mr: "That is the way I am and I am not going to change!"

D: " I am not asking you to change"

Mr: "Another thing is that you don't want to change your last name"

D:"I like my last name, it is my identity and I am the girls' mom and your wife and that is the only thing I have left that is mine that is part of who I am and it reminds me of where I came from. I don't want to loose that"

Mr: " I know your name with your last name sounds beautiful and if you change it to mine it will look and sound like a flower in cow poop*" *not his exact words

D:"If I change it I will not be happy; I will be only doing it for you and I will be resentful"

Mr: " I want a divorce" Got up and left the room.

After coming home from work, he mentioned twice "if you decide to leave me..."

I am in survival mode now. Plan and act.